Hey liar!

See that post below me...the one boasting about how im not stressed and everything is "like soooo totally awsome"...I lied. Well not really...per say. At the time I wrote that post I was feeling pretty confident about myself and the whole wedding stuff, but something happened over night and over the past few days......im not ready...im stressed....and now i am sick!

It all began when someone says "Do you have all your songs picked yet?" In my head I know I don't and in my calmed heart I know it will get done so im not worried in the slightest, but then they say "Oh my gosh, you DONT, you must be soooo stressed" and like a slap to the face my heart skips a beat and someone in my head starts screaming "WHY ARENT YOU STRESSED...GET STRESSED NOW" and is if on que, I became stressed. My to do list, which was ONLY one page is now ONE HUGE page, it looks long and daunting and i sweat bullets looking at it.

When people get stressed they do random things, some people eat alot (me), or eat very little, chew their nails, pull their hair....anything! ME....I ...get...sick! Two days after a frightful phone call from a friend talking about how stressed I SHOULD be...I got sick and when I am sick I lose sleep, and when I lose sleep I become even more ill and then cranky and unproductive. So the cycle begins.

How does one deal with it? I have been joking about taking our mini-moon BEFORE the wedding but I know that would only throw stress fuel on my already high octane stress fire. Imagine "relaxing" with your hubby to be while you have a half put together candy buffet at home and a seating chart with no names....doubt...very highly doubt that it will be relaxing.

I have a great network of friends and family who have offered to help...but when i look at my tasks it seems it would all just be easier if i just did it myself. Do I REALLY want people driving an hour to come help me buy ribbon and tie it around a vase?

Tonight I am attempting to unwind. Get rid of this incredibly sore throat and "move on" from it. Im going to go to the tanning bed to feel some warmth and coziness, have some dinner, dust (its KIND OF relaxing cause i am getting something done), get in my PJ's, make some hot tea and watch some TV...maybe possibly cut the ribbon for my vases.....:)


Wish me luck?!


How do you manage the wedding stress?

Im ready

When I first got engaged, which in one way feels like a million years ago and in another way...yesterday...my countdown marker started at over 200 more days till my wedding.

Today it reached 29 more days...which is one day shy of four weeks, which means, next month, which means.....SOON.

Im not super stressed, I do not have a huge list of to do things, and the list i do have does not stress me out. But the fact,...the sheer fact that I am not stressed out gives me butterflies in my tummy. I actually "act" stressed when people say "ohhh its coming up so fast..how do you feel" I always respond with a sigh and "stressed?!"

My wedding to me is big and I do have things to do, but I honestly feel like things are winding down instead of speeding up with last minute details. My stagette is over, I have all 94 RSVP's in (all yes!), everything is booked, everything is signed, sealed and delivered. Im ready.

Im ready to take fun pictures, to get dressed with my mom, to see my future husband dressed up for the first time, to walk down the aisle, to become Mrs. Panda. Im so ready to dance with my father, to share my slideshow with my guests, to so see my grandma all dressed up, and to dance with my husband. Im more then ready to rip up the dance floor with friends and family, to show off all my hard work and take photos in my fauxto-booth with pom poms as my ears.

Im ready to spread some love as a wife.

How long? - LONG distance -

Mr.Panda and the future Mrs. Panda - The beginning

Mr.Panda and I met at an odd time in our lives. He was still in school obtaining his degree in Physics and Math and I had just moved back from a 1.5 year haitus in Vancouver. Our relationship is funny, I would not change it for the world...but its funny.

I was recovering from an engagement gone wrong and was not really looking for a relationship and as it turns out Mr. Panda was not really ready for one either. But when love hits it hits hard and there is no avoiding it. We dated for a three months before he moved back to Vancouver for the summer, and so began four months of long distance.

Ever done long distance before? Its tough, I give total credit to anyone who can do it. I spent hundreds of dollars that summer flying to see him and he visted me with what time he could get off. Although long distance is hard, I found it very valuable in our relationship. It strengthened what we had and it really made us value the time we did have together. As funny as it sounds I would never change the fact that we had to spend four months, at the beginning or our relationship, apart. It forced us to talk alot via phone or email and it was such a great way to learn who we are and who they are.

But let me state one thing....we never did it again :) The next summer Mr. Panada stayed in Prince George with me and the following September (or more late August) we moved to Vancouver together.

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So you have done long distance before?! but have you moved to another city, far away from your friends andf family with a boyfriend that will not live with you till your married?! I might have one up on you with this....que.....Mr.Panda and future Mrs. Panada move to Vancouver - Future Mrs. Panada living alone and scared....and/or angry?"

To stagette or not to stagette....this is one of many questions

Amazing ladies, amazing time, fun and memories!

This past weekend was my stagette and as far as stagettes go...mine was the best (biased much!)

My lovely and amazing bridesmaids planned a weekend getaway in the lovely Whistler. They rented a three story townhouse high in the mountains, supplied food, goodies, games, good times and of course drinks.

I imagined my stagette as much as i dreamt of my wedding, i think they are so much fun. When i was younger my stagette idea was definitely different from what i wanted at the age of 27. By the time a reached 27 I was not up for the raging evening of drinking and a written off day of nursing a hangover...I honestly do not know who at this age has the time to write off a day (old much?!) I was looking for a laid back weekend, catching up with all my ladies, gossiping, chatting and having a few drinks and dances. And that we did...for two days!

I arrived late friday night with three other girls from Vancouver and came to the townhouse to meet my two besties from Prince George. I was so excited to know that all these girls were here just for me...it was so humbling. (I could cry!). My MOH had martini glasses for us w

ith candies in them, leis, and our initials on each glass, so adorable. Oh and of course a dozen or so things for me to wear and prance around in.

We spent the friday night having drinks,catching up and playing games. The next morning we slowly woke, got dressed and headed into

Whistler Village. It was an AMAZING day (especially considering it was thundering and lighting). We took the peak to peak, a gondola or ski lift from one mountain peak to another. What an amazing trip! Seriously though, a true test of friendship is when two girls, petrified of heights climbs into a gondola for the bride! (greatest girls ever!).

PS I do not know who the two ladies in white hats...they seemed to think we were beautiful though and wanted pictures taken with us.

We came home for the evening to a scavenger hunt that had been set up...the final and last clue was a pinata made in the shape of a glass of wine, made by my dear sister, hilarity ensued. We then had some dinner, had some pre drink sex and the city cocktails and then went out for dancing.

We danced.....and danced and danced. It was an AMAZING weekend filled with so much thoughtfulness, love and fun! I would not have changed anything!

Crazy comes crazy goes

Wedding nightmares? Anyone heard of them? I read about them on a blog once and thought these girls were nuts...how would you let one day get to your head so much that you actually dream...wait....let me rephrase that....HAVE NIGHTMARES about your wedding day?

Que minus 49 days to my wedding.

My very first wedding nightmare, and i like to think last but i already know the jokes on me. I was getting ready for the big day with all my girls, it was se exciting and everything was running smoothly. No tears in the dress or tears but i always felt like something was missing. I met up with Mr. Panda to take our first look pics and realized..hmm...where is the photographer. Thats when i realized she was a no show. I collapsed into a balling mess on a flight of stairs and proceeded to panic and panic and panic. I woke up in a mad sweat, teeth clenched and ready to email my photographer...just to make sure everything was okay.

Unsettling to say the least.

I have read and re-read that the way to avoid these freakish reality impending doom wedding nightmares *sigh* is to NOT think about your wedding before you go to sleep. To this i say HA HA HA...good luck....I eat, drink and breathe wedding right now.

So, lastly I have to say....only 38 more days of potential wedding nightmares :)

My engagement ring dilemma

Remember when I told you that I win alot of stuff? Well this was a HUGE win, so huge in so many ways!

Firstly, when I saw this draw I thought to myself...I do not need ANOTHER one of those...but what girl does not want MORE of those?...especially for free!! So I did my due diligence said what I had to say, filled in the ballot and then WON.............

THIS!!! A beautiful amazing Verragio ring! But whats a girl to do? I had already received back in october a ring that Mr. Panda and I had picked out together...that I LOVE.

The thing is this ring would have been the EXACT ring I would have chosen if we had unlimited funds. We have contemplated selling it but its hard and we would never get the money the poor ring deserves. Mr. Panda LOVES the ring and he wants me to keep it and although I love it as well (we drove an hour to the closest store just to try it on!) I would feel odd having a "free" ring as an engagement ring....hmmmm. Mr.Panda wants me to wear it, I would love to wear it...the dilemma, the guilt....all the engagement pics with my other ring in it!!

Whats a girl to do?!

What have you won today?

One of the perks of going to Bridal Shows is winning stuff!! I could spend day putting my name in draws...winning stuff is fun, no one can deny that.

I should make note to everyone that there are probably a few horseshoes stuck up my butt :)

In the past 2 years I have won a new golf bag (Mr. Panda was happy with

this), a cruise, yes thats right an all expenses paid 1 week cruise to Alaska....did i mention it was a balcony suite?

Four tickets to the No Doubt concert with a meet and greet and a

night at the Opus Hotel and last but not least...Mr. Pandas heart. After he proposed to me I won a few GREAT and AMAZING wedding related things.

The first is a mini-moon!

I won a trip to the Eagle Nook Resort and Spa on Vancouver Isla

nd, Mr. Panada and I are so excited about this. It gives us a great opportunity to get away and enjoy our time alone...but at a much much more affordable cost.

I always tell my sister who is getting married next year, that it is really really easy to stay under budget if you just win everything!

Weddings are expensive and honeymoons even so. Alot of people are taking to mini-moons like Mr. Panda and I. We are going for 3 days to an all exclusive wilderness resort. Staying in a water front room with 2 days of gourmet meals and a 200.0 credit for the spa! Bliss.

For those people who dont win everything, here are what Mr. Panda and I were going to do until we won this.

Road trip from Vancouver down the Oregon Coast for a week...camping where our heart pleases and singing to our favorite tunes.

Vegas! Vegas! Vegas! From Seattle to Vegas, the flight and hotel for both was only around 700.00 (for both!!!)

San Fransisco...never been...looks sweet.

When money is tight and the mind has to be open? Did anyone else do a mini moon that they loved?!